By Abbot Tryphon, November 23, 2019
We must end bullying by teaching children kindness at an early age
More and more frequently we read about children taking their own lives, having reached a place where they would rather be dead than live another hour suffering from bullying. Too often parents and teachers have ignored the problem of bullying, dismissing it as nothing more than “kids will be kids”, and “kids can be cruel”.
The truth is that children, from the earliest of age, can be taught to treat other children with kindness, and encouraged to be sensitive to the plight of other children. The youngest can be taught the importance of sharing their toys, and of including other children in their neighborhood games. Even the smallest child can be taught to treat others as he wishes to be treated, and to report incidences of bullying to his teachers and parents, when he sees it happening to other children.
I believe part of the problem may be, at the root level, teachers who were bullying others when they were children, and transferring that childhood experience into how they perceive some of the children under their care. It is only human to have favorites, and teachers are no exception.
When I taught high school, I had my personal favorites. These were high school students who were bright, challenging, and a joy to teach. Juxtaposed to these young people were students who were perhaps slow learners, less attractive, and, in a nutshell, a pain to deal with. Yet, I also knew that each one of them had potential that needed to be encouraged, and that anyone of them could be a late bloomer, and could, with guidance and attention, succeed beyond expectations.
I also, as a teacher, NEVER put up with bullying of any sort. First sign of bullying, I would take the bully aside, and make it perfectly clear that this was behavior that would not be tolerated. I remember to this very day a middle school teacher who bullied me, and because this was done in front of my classmates, he encouraged children to bully me, as well. I suffered from dyslexia during a time when little was known about this learning disability, so, like other dyslexics, I was a poor student. My own struggle to compensate made me a public speaker who rarely needed a manuscript, and this translated into my becoming a skilled debater in high school and college.
Because I also grew tall (6″1″) in a very short period of time, I was uncoordinated as a junior and senior high school student, so was a poor athlete (I haven’t lost the inches, they just relocated). It was not until college that I actually discovered athletic abilities that had previously remained dormant, so took up weight lifting, long distance running, baseball, and volleyball. As a high school teacher, I led the faculty in winning, for the very first time, the traditional volleyball game against the senior class, much to the delight of the underclassman.
My own youthful struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, revolved around my perceived failures and sense of hopelessness, but was offset by one single high school teacher who took me under her wing, and helped me become a champion debater. She believed in me when no one else would, and all it took was that one teacher willing to reach out to a kid with low self-esteem.
That one child who is taught by his parents the importance of treating a bullied school mate with kindness, and even stepping up to defend and befriend them, can be life changing for both children.
Children are wonderful gifts from God, and are pliable and open, always ready to learn from the adults in their lives, whether they are their parents, teachers, pastors, or neighbors. They depend on us for comfort, direction, support, AND protection. They are in our care, and God expects us to take this responsibility very seriously. These children are the future of our country, our Church, and our world, and must be taught the importance of being kind and generous towards others.
The child that is raised in the ways of the Lord, will in turn raise his/her children in the ways of God. Let us not pass on the sins and failures of our generation into the generation. We adults need to make sure peace, love, justice, and charity become the hallmarks of what we pass on to the next generation. Most importantly, we must instill in our children the love of God, and the desire to treat everyone we meet with respect and kindness.
With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
~Abbot Tryphon, The Morning Offering, https://blogs.ancientfaith.com/morningoffering/2019/11/we-must-respond-to-bullying/.
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