There are many and varied degrees and a great variety of pointing ways to watchfulness. We see this also in the Hymns of Repentance in the Octoechos and the Triodion, in which this many-faceted and proper cultivation of neptic life is offered. We note a few to demonstrate this:
Because of all my wicked thoughts and deeds I stand condemned: put into my heart, O God, my Saviour, the thought of turning back to Thee, that I may cry: Save me, loving Benefactor, and have mercy on me (25) .
Searching my guilty conscience, I bow before Thy fearful Court, O Lord, for my works allow no salvation; but Thou, O Christ God, having a wealth of compassion, have mercy on me and save me (26).
Penitential Hymnology constitutes a safe road of return to our lost inner world and always shows us man’s only outlet from the immense labyrinths into which he falls, proceeding from searching to anxiety and from anxiety to despair. The only outlet is that of the return of the prodigal. Because, as J. Kornarakis writes, “whoever goes far away from himself multiplies the inner ruptures and surrenders mercilessly to a disgraceful impasse. The opposite is true, for the one who agrees to enter into his closet, to return to himself, discovers the secret footpath of oneness and harmony of soul and spirit. Furthermore, he views unfathomable and indescribable mysteries, because knowledge of all things is given to him who knows himself; for knowing oneself is the fullness of the knowledge of all things”.
Here are a few more penitential hymns representative of neptic self-knowledge:
When I call to mind the many evils I have done and I think upon the fearful Day of Judgment, seized with trembling I flee to Thee for refuge, O God Who lovest mankind. Turn not away from me, I beseech Thee, Who alone art free from sin; but before the end comes, grant compunction to my humbled soul and save me (27).
Gather together my scattered mind O Lord, and purify my dry and barren heart, giving me like Peter repentance, like the Publican a sigh of sorrow, and like the harlot tears, that I may cry with a loud voice unto Thee: Save me, O God, for Thou only art compassionate and lovest mankind (28).
Often when I offer praise to God, I am found to be committing sin; for while I sing the hymn with my tongue, in my soul I ponder evil thoughts. But through repentance, Christ my God, set right my tongue and soul, and have mercy upon me (29).
In the third Prayer of Preparation for Holy Communion, we beseech the Lord to come and abide in us in His immaculate Mysteries. We tell Him: “… Enter and enlighten my darkened thought” (30). In the Thanksgiving Prayers after Holy Communion we again read: “I thank Thee that Thou hast granted me, unworthy as I am … grant that these may be even to me … for the enlightenment of the eyes of my heart … that being kept by them in Thy holiness I may never live for myself but for Thee, our Lord and Benefactor…” In the thanksgiving prayer to the Theotokos: “… But do thou who didst bear the true Light enlighten the spiritual eyes of my heart … and give me … the recall of my reasoning powers from their captivity”.
~ Watchfulness and Prayer, Themes from the Philokalia, Number 1, 2nd Edition, Publications of the Holy Monastery of St Gregory Palamas, Koufalia, Thessaloniki, Hellas
25. Aposticha, Tone 1.
26. Sessional Hymn. Tone 2.
27. Aposticha. Tone 8.
28 Aposticha, Tone 3.
29. Aposticha, Tone 3.
30. Actually, this Quote comes from the second Prayer by St. John Chrysostom, which, in the Greek usage, is the fourth Prayer in the Service of Preparation.
