“In a monastery one is not allowed to have negative feelings toward anyone. If you have a complaint, you are expected to go to that brother, make a deep bow, and ask for forgiveness. That is how the traps of Satan are destroyed, rendering him incapable of causing divisions among us.”
“Is this, perhaps, the secret that has allowed monasteries to last for thousands of years whereas other communal arrangements tend to have very brief life spans?” I asked.
“Well, of course. A community that quarrels all the time will eventually be destroyed. But let me return to where I started. For us to be in discord with another person is not the other’s problem. It is our problem. Others may not want us, but we must be spiritually united with them because we know we must love one another. If others do not like us, we are nevertheless obligated to love them and feel sorrow that our very existence and presence is problematic for them. That is how we construct bridges with other human beings. That is how we should approach other human beings if we wish to help them at their very essence. When we condemn others, they might become worse:’
“How do others know that I condemn them?” Michael interjected.
“Condemnation, blame, and slander are satanic energies that are transmitted in the heart of the other person. As a consequence of such transmissions, he or she becomes worse. If he has only one complaint against you, he will soon have five or ten. Likewise, when you pray for the other person, and it is unlikely that he will know that, his heart fully accepts your prayer.”
“What if his heart is not receptive?”
“It does not matter. His heart may be like a rock full of hatred against you. It doesn’t matter. Prayer can crack rocks, even granite. You just pray and you will see how the other person will be affected. Consider it a given that it is absolutely impossible to pray for someone without affecting that person. Your prayers can never be in vain.”
“Is it possible that in one in a million cases this axiom may not work, that prayer may not have any effect?” Michael persisted.
“Well, if you put it this way, it may be possible,” Fr. Maximos replied with a smile. “Perhaps praying for demons is the exception to the rule. You know, saints do pray even for demons, and yet they seem to get worse. They never repent.”
“They wouldn’t be doing their job if they did,” I interjected, prompting laughter.
“Whatever it is, they are the truly unrepentant,” Fr. Maximοs replied. “A human being is not a demon. Regardless of his or her spiritual condition, there are always cracks inside that can allow the good to come forward.”
“But what if such a person does not respond no matter what you do and how much you pray?” Maria wondered.
“Then you are the exclusive beneficiary of your prayers. But again, it is really impossible to pray for someone without that person benefiting on some level. This is a spiritual law. What it boils down to is that you must become like Christ. This is the ideal human being who is united with everybody in peace. Therefore, when peace is absent, we should not waste our time trying to find the problem in others.”
“Unfortunately, Fr. Maxime,” Eleni said, “this is extremely difficult. It would require extraordinary spiritual strength and maturity to maintain such a mind-set.”
“Well yes! But this is the ideal to strive toward. Instead of praying for the other, we normally use our logic or common sense. In such a situation, our logic is, in reality, our enemy. Our logic tells us, ‘Don’t you see that she slanders you without you doing anything against her except pray for her well-being? In spite of your good intentions, she does her best to ruin you.’ Your logic has good points. Yet the Gospel asks us to go beyond our logic. This is the meaning of metanoia, to radically change the way we feel and think. Your logic tells you, ‘You are justified in not talking to her since she does not talk to you; you are right in not loving her since she does not care for you; why should you benefit her since she slanders you?’ and so on.
“This is what common, worldly logic tells us to do,” Fr. Maximos continued. “The logic of the Gospel, on the other hand, says: ‘You are right, she does not love you. In fact she hates you. You must pray even more, love her more.”’
“This is impossible,” someone moaned.
“Yes. It is very difficult. I say all this, but I don’t even know if I put these things into practice myself. It is a mighty struggle to kill your ego, to reject yourself. But is this not what Christ asks of us, to oppose that worldly self of ours and embrace the message of the Gospel?”
“This kind of talking may be nice, but how can we reach such heights of spiritual attainment?” Eleni complained.
“Well, as I’ve tried to show you in this discussion, it is a gradual process. We cannot become saints from one day to the next. It is an ongoing struggle. We can succeed if on this spiritual path we continuously keep Christ in our hearts and minds and contrast our behavior with His. We should always compare our choices and actions with those of Christ. Ask yourself the question ‘How would Christ have responded in our situation?’ Judge yourself by comparing yourself with Christ, our Divine Archetype. It is the only way we should behave if we wish to become perfected human beings.
~Adapted from Kyriacos C. Markides, Inner River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality
