“It is important to keep in mind,” Fr. Maximos continued, “that the perfect way of approaching the other person in such situations is with prayer. It may require many years of systematic prayer for God to inform the other person’s heart that we truly love him and have nothing against him. We must take upon ourselves this responsibility and say, ‘I am to be blamed for this situation also.’ The very fact that I exist makes me responsible. I am a culprit in the other person’s emotional turmoil. Had I not existed, this problem would not have existed. Therefore, I am responsible.”
“This is very harsh and hard to digest, Fr. Maxime,” Maria complained.
“But that’s the way of the Gospel, the way of the saints. You begin to pray with tears and pain for the good of the other. You pray in such a way that gradually Grace may visit and soften the heart of the other person by bringing clarity and understanding to his mind.”
“Do you think this will help the other to understand his or her mistake?” Maria wondered.
“No. We should not ask God to help the other person understand his error. That would be egotistical. We must pray to God to help our brother understand that he should not harbor in his heart such feelings, which are harmful to him. It is irrelevant to us whether he loves us or not. It is not for our sake that we pray. We pray because we love our brother, period. We do not wish to see him suffer spiritually and psychologically by feeling that our very existence is a problem for him.”
There was silence for a few seconds as everybody pondered this extraordinary task. “Do you realize,” Fr. Maximos continued, “that we can implement this form of action even for the departed? We have examples of holy elders, both ancient and contemporary, who, after sorrowfully praying for years for the souls of departed people who were separated from God, guided those souls to the Kingdom of God.”
Nobody raised the question of how that could be verified, but given the spiritual culture of Eastern Orthodoxy, the answer could only have been that such states can be authenticated by the saints themselves, who are graced by the Holy Spirit.
“These saints,” Fr. Maximos went on, “took upon themselves the burden of Hell of those departed and imperfect souls, and by doing so they have become true imitators of Christ. Because of their prayers, the Holy Spirit was activated, approaching the souls of these people and guiding them away from their hell.
“So it is important to realize that if our brothers do not have peace with us, we cannot be relaxed with our conscience by saying, ‘Well, I have done whatever I could. He does not wish to see me, or talk to me, or love me. What can I do? I am indifferent. Let him do whatever he wishes.’
“No. You should do everything you can to approach that person because there is one thing you did not do. You did not pray with tears for the sake of your brother or sister, for the soul of that person who suffers even thinking of you, rightly or wrongly. The person who has God inside him cannot accept the other person suffering spiritually and remain indifferent.”
It was clear to me that Fr. Maximos was speaking from experience. Ever since he had arrived in Cyprus, several members of the higher clergy had done their best to force him to return to Mt. Athos. But by putting his teachings into practice, Fr. Maximos led several of his former enemies to come to at least respect him and tolerate him, if not to accept his presence on the island.
“Once a year we celebrate the life of St. Parthenios, a great saint, endowed generously with many gifts of the Spirit. One of the incidences in his life was his attempt to free a young woman of demonic possession. The demon asked him, ‘If you chase me out of her, where do you expect me to go? Allow me to at least enter somewhere else, like into a herd of swine as Jesus allowed.’ Then the saint replied, ‘Come inside me.'” Fr. Maximos abruptly interrupted his narration: “Incidentally, no one should do that, okay? Otherwise he will enter inside you and stay there!”
“Don’t worry, Fr. Maxime. I’m sure none of us in this room has any intention or inclination to invite a demon inside us,” I said to laughter.
“Good. Well, St. Parthenios was a great saint, so the moment he told the demon, ‘Come inside me: the young woman was freed from her possession and the demon disappeared. The demon growled, ‘I am burned!’ You see, he could not enter the temple of God. The saint was God’s temple, and no demon could enter there. This is the greatness of a saint like Parthenios. He did not send that demon anywhere else. Instead he was willing to put himself at such great risk in order to save the other person,” Fr. Maximos concluded.
~Adapted from Kyriacos C. Markides, Inner River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality
