Again and again the monks sing the praises of silence. For them silence is the way to encounter themselves, to discover the truth of their own hearts. But silence is also the way to become free from constantly judging and condemning others. We are always in danger of evaluating, estimating, and judging every person we meet. And often enough we find ourselves on the verge of condemning and passing sentence on them. Silence prevents us from doing this. It keeps confronting us with ourselves. It prohibits us from taking the path to projecting our shadow side on others. The ancients were aware of the danger of constantly thinking and talking about others. It is reported of Father Agathon that he carried a stone in his mouth for three years until he learned to cope with silence and stop judging his brothers in his heart.
It often requires the conscious practice of silence so that the heart too can keep silent. We often have to expressly forbid ourselves to talk about others so that we can look on them without prejudice.
The early monks have often been criticized for the harshness of their asceticism. But the many admonishments not to judge and the beautiful stories of compassionate monks show us the opposite. In fact the monks saw not-judging as a criterion for the right way. Those who judge others haven’t really learned to know themselves. Today there are many pious movements that live at the expense of other people. They wall themselves off while they drag others down and abuse them. Whenever people have to demonize those who follow a different spiritual path, it’s a sign that there’s something wrong with their path. Their demonizing points to the demon in their own heart that they refuse to acknowledge. They repress it and project it onto their neighbors. Those who have sincere self-knowledge will be spontaneously compassionate. They know deep in their hearts that basically we all need God’s compassion. It’s always a wonder of grace when God lets the good triumph in us.
But for the monks silence is still more than not-judging. Silence is the spiritual path pure and simple. In silence we encounter ourselves and our inner reality. But silence is also a way to become free from the thoughts that continuously occupy us. This is not an external silence, but a silence of the heart. Still, outer silence can help the heart to become quiet, the emotions to calm down and stop running our lives. Thus we are told of Father Moses, a former brigand, who was often insulted because of his black skin: “Another time there was an assembly in the skete, and the fathers wished to put him to the test and treated him as if he were nothing, saying: ‘What is this Ethiopian doing among us?’ He listened to them in silence. After the assembly broke up, they said to him: ‘Father, didn’t you get upset?’ He answered: ‘Yes, I did get upset, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak’ “(Ps. 77:4).
Father Moses was disturbed by the unfair words of the brothers. But he deliberately kept silence so that his emotions could calm down. He fought his agitation through silence. He didn’t repress the injustice, but chose to heal the injury through silence. Speaking out about injuries is surely a good means to heal them. Modern psychotherapy has made that dear enough. But there is definitely another cure: silence. In silence the inner disturbances can quiet down, the dust cloud can settle, to let the heart clear up. It is like cloudy wine, which becomes clear after lying quietly in storage.
The second aspect of silence is letting go. In silence we let go of what constantly preoccupies us. We let go of our thoughts and our wishes. We let go of everything that would take control of us and that we feverishly cling to. So long as we cling to our success, our life makes no headway. So long as we cling to people, our relationships are troubled. Silence is the art of letting go in order to discover another foundation in oneself: God. Only when I have discovered my foundation in God can I let go of my profession, my role, my relationships, my possessions. Then I am no longer defining myself by the good will of others; my whole identity no longer hinges upon my success or my property. Letting go is the way to get in touch with my inner source, to discover the true wealth in my soul: God, who gives me everything that I need for life.
The monks practice silence not as an end in itself, but as a means to becoming one with God. Encountering oneself and letting go are the two necessary steps to oneness with God.
Silence is first of all the art of being entirely present, of giving oneself unreservedly to the moment. When random thoughts are forever rushing through our head, they keep us from being present, and we are always somewhere else. Being present is the necessary condition for being able to meet the God who is present. But the goal of silence is to become one with God, to be so open to God that he fills our thinking and feeling, that we sense him at the bottom of our heart, that we experience him as the source of our inner life, as the source that never dries up because it is divine.
~Anselm Gruen, Heaven Begins Within You: Wisdom from the Desert Fathers
