“Elders like him [Elder Ephraim], even though austere at times, are capable of loving everybody unconditionally precisely because they can see the other person in his natural state, beyond the external characteristics of personality,” Fr. Maximos explained. “That’s who the late Elder Ephraim really was, not the fearsome person I imagined him to be before I met him. Elders like Papa Ephraim are capable of loving even the worst among us because they know that human passions are acquired and not natural to the individual soul. What they see in every person, regardless of their sinfulness, is the presence of the Christ. Therefore, they love everybody the same way that God loves everybody.”
“You had mentioned before that holy elders love even demons,” I noted.
“Exactly. They love them just as God does. In their very nature, demons are good. Only their intentions are evil. After all, they are fallen angels. They were created to be good.”
“This is very difficult for people to fathom,” I said, noticing that hardly anyone in the room could relate to what Fr. Maximos was saying.
“I understand that, but God does not discriminate in his love and, therefore, loves everybody and everything unconditionally,” Fr. Maximos stressed. I understood that the principle he wanted to convey was that God’s love is embedded in all of Creation, unconditionally. He had said to me before that many people get scandalized when they hear that. But God, for Fr. Maximos, cannot not love every being regardless of their current fallen state.
“Once again,” Fr. Maximos continued, “the person who has a good relationship with himself or herself also develops a good relationship with others and with his or her surroundings. When a person learns to have a good relationship with others, he also has a good relationship with God. That state of being in the world leads a person to real freedom and liberation without a trace of anything that diminishes him as a personality, be it fear, cunning, self-centeredness, or malice. This is the person who is chrestos, or useful, kind, and gentle. He or she does not create difficulties for others and does not feel oppressed by others.”
“In short, she is easy to get along with. This is what you mean by useful, or chrestos,” I noted.
Fr. Maximos agreed. “The opposite of the chrestos person is the vexatious and sour person. He is like a thorn, like vinegar. Wherever he finds himself, he generates strife and problems. If he happens to be an employer, he is like a tyrant. If he is an employee, he can’t get along with others, causing havoc for everybody.”
“We find such people everywhere,” I mentioned. “Including in the Church.”
“Particularly in the Church,” Fr. Maximos added with a laugh. Then he recalled a classmate of his at the university who was constantly fighting with his teachers. “He was wild. One time he was talking about a professor with such hatred, saying that he was going to drink his blood, that he was going to take his eyes out and the like.”
“And he was a theology student?”
“Yes, he was trained to become a priest. I tried to advise him. ‘My dear Kosta,’ I said, ‘why don’t you imagine your professor as your spiritual elder? Obey him as a form of a spiritual exercise.’ His response was ‘What did you say? I will cut his head off first!'”
Fr. Maximos never tired of repeating the message that whatever difficulties we encounter in life we must use as opportunities for spiritual growth. “Do you have a difficult supervisor?” he asked a group of teachers once. “Incorporate it within the context of your askesis, your regular spiritual practices. It is very important not to see the other as an evil person. Don’t see him or her as the enemy and you as the good and innocent victim. Do not see him as Nero and you as a martyr. Try to see the other as yourself and accept him in that spirit. Turn your household, your environment, your job, into arenas for spiritual exercises.
“To become chrestos, you must realize that it is an ongoing spiritual exercise in your daily life. Do not seek special circumstances and favorable conditions. Start from wherever you are, from your office, from your work, from anywhere. Learn patience. Learn to incorporate your difficulties within the context of your daily spiritual practice. Think of your marriage, for example, as a challenge in order to transcend yourself. That’s the only attitude that you must have if you want your marriage to last and bear spiritual fruit.
“It’s the same with monasticism when you are asked to transcend yourself. If within marriage or monasticism you insist on doing what you want, the result will be catastrophic.
~Adapted from Kyriacos C. Markides, Inner River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality
