Without temptation the monks become careless. They let themselves go, and so live any old way. Temptations force them to live consciously, to exercise discipline, and to be wakeful. Thus the monks don’t pray for temptations to stop, but for God to give them enough strength.
The story was told of Mother Sarah, that for thirteen years she endured being violently assaulted by demons of impurity. She never prayed for the struggle to cease, but rather: “O God, give me strength.” Yet in the end she won. The impure spirit said to her: “You have conquered me, Sarah.” But she answered: “It is not I who have won, but my Lord Christ.”
Temptation forces us to fight. Without a fight there is no victory. But victory is never something we have earned. In our struggles we learn that Christ is working with us, that he frees us from endless conflict and gives us a profound peace.
The question is whether this positive view of temptation can help us today. For one thing, this perspective might liberate us from a false striving for perfection. Those for whom everything depends upon being correct will miss out on life for fear of making some mistake. Their lives will atrophy. They will, it is true, be correct, but not vital and capacious.
Coming to terms with temptation, the certainty that temptation is part of us, makes us more human, or, as the monks say, more humble. It shows us that we are always under attack, that we can never claim to stand above all temptations, that hatred and jealousy, say, or adultery are no problem for us. Anyone who maintains that he would never betray his wife or girlfriend has not yet encountered his own heart. Coming to terms with temptation makes us alert.
But nowadays we have a hard time with the idea of the monks’ begging God not to take temptation away from them. Nevertheless even today some people have had a similar experience. A nun told me that once a certain passion of hers ceased to bother her, she slackened off internally. So long as she had to fight against it, she was more attentive to her feelings, she dealt more consciously with frustration and anger. And she felt that she was wholly and entirely cast upon God. Her prayer became more intense.
We sometimes have a false image of holiness. We think that the saints are beyond all temptations, but that’s wrong. Knowing about temptation without being overpowered by it is a way that keeps us alive, that continually reminds us that we cannot make ourselves better, that only God can transform us. Only God can give us the victory in the battle with temptations, can bring us a profound peace that can’t be experienced as intensely without a struggle.
~Anselm Gruen, Heaven Begins Within You: Wisdom from the Desert Fathers
