For the monks humility is the courage to face the truth, the courage to accept their own earthliness, their humanity. The monks test one another in humility, so as to find out whether someone really is a man of God. “A monk was highly praised to Anthony by the brothers. Then Anthony took him and put him to the test, to see if he could endure insults. When it became clear that the man couldn’t bear them, Anthony told him: You are like a village with a beautifully decorated facade, but behind it everything has been devastated by robbers.”
“The saintly Synkletika used to say: ‘Just as no one can build a ship without nails, no person can become holy without humility.'” Humility is the test of whether one is living from the spirit of God. But it is also the foundation on which the monk builds his life. Without humility he always risks taking over God for his own purposes. Humility is the prerequisite for letting God be God, for developing a sense for God as the wholly other. The closer people come to God, the humbler they get. Then they can feel how far removed they are from God’s holiness. Humility is the response to the experience of God.
Sometimes the monks also speak of the possibility of learning to be humble: “An old man was asked: ‘What is humility?’ And he answered: ‘Humility is a great, indeed a divine work! But the way to humility is this: one should do physical labor; one should take oneself for a sinful person; one should be subject to everyone.’ The brother asked: ‘Does that mean subject to one and all?’ The old man replied: ‘That means, subject to everyone: when you do not heed the mistakes of others, but consider your own, and when you pray unceasingly to God.'”
Consequently the father suggests concrete exercises for the monks to learn humility. For us these exercises seem too negative. But, in the final analysis, they are about contemplating and accepting the truth about oneself instead of troubling oneself over the sins of others. And humility means following Christ in secret, not trumpeting the good I am doing for everyone to hear. Thus one old father says: “Just as a treasure, once it has been opened, is worth less, so a virtue made public lessens. For as wax melts from fire, the soul falls away from its pure estimation when it is dissolved by praise.” And another monastic father: “It is impossible that plants and seeds bring forth at the same time. It is equally impossible that we should enjoy worldly fame and at the same time bring forth fruit for heaven.” The fruits of the Holy Spirit can grow in us only when we give up showing them to everyone and pointing them out for all to see.
Spirituality from below points out that we come to God through careful self-observation and sincere self knowledge. We don’t find out what God wants from us in the lofty ideals we set for ourselves. Often these are merely the expression of our ambition. We wish to achieve high ideals to look better in the eyes of others and of God. Spirituality from below thinks that we can discover God’s will for us, that we can find our vocation, only if we have the courage to descend into our reality and deal with our passions, our drives, our needs and wishes. The way to God leads through our weaknesses and powerlessness. When we are stripped of all power we discover what God has in mind for us, what God can make of us when God fills us completely with divine grace.
~Anselm Gruen, Heaven Begins Within You: Wisdom from the Desert Fathers
