By Father Thomas Hopko, March 13, 2008
34. Be awake, and be attentive. Be fully present where you are—wakefulness, watchfulness, attentiveness.
35. Think and talk about things no more than necessary. We should speak only when it’s necessary to speak. In fact the Scripture says: “We should speak only when spoken to.” The Fathers say: “We often repent of idle talk but very seldom have to repent of maintaining silence. Sometimes we do, because we have to speak. But we should talk and think about things no more than absolutely necessary.
36. When we speak, speak simply, clearly, firmly, and directly—nothing superfluous, not putting on airs. Again, simplicity is the rule.
37. Flee imagination, fantasy, analysis, figuring things out. Once and for all, we have to stop trying to figure things out. God can illumine our mind and give us insight into the nature of things, but we can’t figure it out. We don’t have the equipment to do it, and we should stop trying.
38. Flee carnal, sexual, things at their first appearance. You can’t dialogue with lust and pornea and immorality of the flesh. It always wins. It always has the arguments on its side. Flee it at its first appearance.
39. Don’t complain, grumble, murmur, or whine. Complaining, thinking, looking at the faults of others, we work during Lent and all our life to stop doing that. We pay attention to ourselves.
40. Don’t compare yourself with anyone. The Last Judgment is not on a curve. God doesn’t compare us one to another. Each one of us stands according to who we are, what we have received, what we have been given, and what our vocation is.
41. Don’t seek or expect praise from anyone or pity from anyone. I and my friend Paul Lazar used to call it the “PP.” No praise. No pity. We always want to have people to think: “Oh, how wonderful you are” or to say “Oh my, how hard you work or how much you suffer.” We seek to flee the pity and flee the praise of others.
42. We don’t judge anyone for anything—no matter what. This doesn’t mean we just say “Everyone’s fine and good.” That’s not true. But we don’t condemn them. We don’t get in to what makes them tick. We don’t tell them always what to do. What they do, we do. And we show people what we believe by what we do. But we don’t judge anyone for anything, and if we do, then the Lord judges us the same way.
43. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. Once and for all, we have to stop trying to teach other people. I’m not trying to teach you now, I hope. I’m just trying to tell you what I think is true. Then you can do with it, what you want. But it can’t be my desire to convince you and to win in an argument. I can only, to use a Scriptural word, “bear witness” or “make testimony.” But I can’t have as my goal to convert the other. And that’s even true with evangelization. We’re not out there to convert people. We’re out there to bring them the joy of the victory of God in Christ. What they do with it is between them and God.
44. Don’t defend or justify yourself. The Saints say: “Those who try to justify themselves commit suicide.” We don’t need to justify ourselves. God will vindicate us. We don’t need to defend ourselves. God is our defender.
45. Be defined and bound by God alone and not by people. We don’t let anyone define our life. God defines our life. And even the closest people to us should not be defining our life—our parents, our spouses. No, only God is defining who we are, and we’re only bound to his definition.
46. Accept criticism gratefully, but test it carefully. We are not obliged to put into practice every criticism that’s given to us. Sometimes the criticism is false. But we certainly must welcome it, be grateful for it, test it. And St. John Chrysostom said, even when we’re accused of something, even if we think it’s not true, we should accept the criticism as true and put it into practice then we’ll never go wrong. Because if our accuser is right, we have repented, and we have pleased them. If they’re not right, we put them to shame.
47. Give advice to others only when asked to do so or when it is your duty to do so. This is very important. You don’t go around giving free advice or counsel. If people ask us, we tell them. I was asked, “Father Tom, say some things on Ancient Faith Radio. I say: “Okay, cause you asked me.” So when we’re asked, we can answer. If it’s our duty, if it’s our job—like a parent or a pastor or a supervisor in operation or a teacher—then we must do it. That’s our work. But we never give counsel or advice, unless we’re asked or unless it’s our duty to do so.
48. Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves. It is not charitable to do things for others that they should be doing for themselves. We rob them of their life when we do that. So we should help people to do what they have to do themselves and not do it for them. Now there’s plenty of people who can’t do for themselves what they need to do. Then, we help them. But we should never be helping people to do things that they should be doing for themselves.
49. Have a daily schedule of activities, avoiding whim and caprice. Again, the Holy Fathers teach us that idiorhythmia, capriciousness, whimsicalness is the cause of all of our downfall. We have to be disciplined. We have to have a rule for ourselves, and try and follow it. Of course, the rule is not some kind of iron law. In a sense it’s made to be modified or broken, but we have to have it. Each night when we go to sleep, we should tell ourselves what the next day should look like, and then try to keep that rule. Things will happen, but we should try to keep the rule.
~ Ancient Faith Radio, http://www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts/hopko/lent_the_tithe_of_the_year.
