The Quarrelsome Brother
I once told him, “Elder, I can’t work together with this brother … he is a complainer.” “You fool, you are an egotist. Do you know that? Because of this you suffer in many ways.”
“I know it Elder. I have been like this from my youth. Pray that God will give me a humble heart.”
“When the heart has God-given humility it sees everything clearly. It already lives in the earthly Uncreated Church of God. I am referring to humility that is not said with words, neither is it that which we feel we have acquired. Holy humility is a gift of God to the soul. God gives it when He finds pristine preparation. Then He looks upon it with pleasure and draws this soul towards Himself. You should not say that your brother is obstinate, that he is jealous or that he gets angry etc. Don’t say that I can’t get along with him. I can’t ever do things with him. This is not the way to act. This is not Orthodox. It is not Christian. This is not at all living in the love of God. This is the way to separate yourself from the Grace of God, because you separate Him from your brothers.”
“On the contrary, you will overlook their weaknesses and without imitating them, you will become one with them in cooperation. You will accept whatever they want and the way they want it. Do they want it this way? So be it. Do they want it another way? May it be the other way. In this way, the walls that separate us from our brothers are destroyed. It is in this way that we are united with Christ:’
“The more you are daily associated with your brothers, the more you mystically enter into the Love of Christ. ‘Stand in freedom’ says St. Paul.”
“When I was young and I was secretly planning my departure for the Holy Mountain, I sat and thought of ways I would find olive oil to light the lantern, to acquire books and other things that are necessary for the ascetic way of life. And when I went there all these worries were resolved. Everything was taken care of.”
Teaching by Example
In his attempt to help me he always connected me with events in his life on Mount Athos. He would at times give me examples from his daily life. These examples were sometimes positive and sometimes negative.
He often interrupted the conversation and asked, “Did you understand this?”
“Certainly, Elder. With your blessing, I think I understood it.”
“Say it again, what did I tell you?”
I would repeat it. At other times he remained pleased and proceeded. At other times he was not pleased. “You didn’t understand this. It contains a profound meaning. I must explain it to you.”
My beloved father (Elder Porphyrios) had great love and great patience. I also had absolute trust in him and told him everything which burdened my soul. Whatever he told me was law for me. It was the will of God.
For this reason I wrote his words in my heart and in my notes. I would not tell anyone anything. He had told them to me verbally, putting his hand on his mouth.
“Whatever I tell you, I don’t want you to repeat it anywhere. I say this because others who hear these things will not understand them. This is especially true of little old ladies. They will say ‘you know we saw him levitating above the ground. He was standing half a meter above the ground. He is a saint: Some will say he is a saint and others will say he is deluded and deceives the people with everything that he tells them.”
~Adapted from Monk Agapios, The Divine Flame Elder Porphyrios Lit in My Heart
